How I overcame depression.

DEPRESSION IS NO EASY FEAT TO OVERCOME. AND STILL WHEN YOU FINALLY ARE HAPPY YOU WILL STILL KNOW THE FEELING OF HOPELESSNESS AND A NEW FORM OF EMPATHY FOR PEOPLE WILL ESTABLISH IN YOURSELF. BUT YOU GOTTA HELP YOURSELF BY SEEKING HELP AND ASKING FOR SUPPORT. I HAD SLIGHT SHORT TIME DEPRESSIVE PHASES WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER BUT I EXPERIENCED TRUE DEPRESSION AFTER MY SUICIDE ATTEMPT IN 2022. I WAS CONSTANTLY SAD, EVERY ACTION WAS A UNTHINKABLE HURDLE AND CHORE TO OVERVCOME. WHAT HELPED ME MOST WAS CREATING ART. THE LIVING MUSEUM IN THE CLINIC IN WIL IS AMAZING AND HAS A LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES FOR CREATIVES TO BLOSSOM. THEY USE CREATION AS A FORM OF THERAPY AND THAT TRULY IS WHAT I STILL DO TO THIS DAY. DEPRESSION IS COMPLEX AND THERE IS NO SIMPLE ANSWER TO OVERCOME IT. SOME CANT EVEN GET OUT OF BED. I WOULD ALWAYS BE ABLE TO KEEP MY PERSONAL HYGIENE AND SHOWERING IN THE MORNING WOULD ALREADY LIFT UP MY MOOD. YOU GOTTA TRICK YOUR BRAIN INTO THINKING YOU’RE NOT DEPRESSED. ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. WORKING OUT IS SUPER HELPFUL AS WELL, WHATEVER FORM OF MOVEMENT AND SPORT FITS YOU IS WHAT YOU SHOULD START WITH. WRITING IN MY DIARY HELPED ME EXPRESS MYSELF. DAILY AFFIRMATIONS. I USED TO HEAR A VOICE IN MY HEAD SAYING, “I HATE MYSELF” AND I WOULD JUST START SAYING “I LOVE MYSELF” BACK UNTIL THAT VOICE FADED AND I TRULY STARTED TO BELIEVE THOSE LATTER WORDS. GOING TO UNIVERSITY AND ACTUALLY BELIEVING IN MYSELF AND MY TALENT WAS A HUGE STEP AND A LIFT OUT OF HOPELESSNESS. FAMILY SUPPORT WAS INCREDIBLY CRUCIAL, IF YOU DON’T HAVE FAMILY THAT SUPPORTS YOU FIND A CLOSE KNIT INNER CIRCLEL. NOT EVERYBODY IN YOUR LIFE WANTS THE BEST FOR YOU BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOUR POTENTIAL AND ARE SCARED, YOU’RE GONNA PASS THEM UP. CUT THOSE PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE. PEOPLE THAT ARE JEALOUS, PEOPLE THAT JUST TAKE GOTTA GO. ANOTHER THING THAT HELPS DEPRESSION IS MEDICATION OBVIOUSLY. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE SCARED TO START MEDICATION BECAUSE THEY THINK THERE’S NO GOING BACK, BUT WOULD YOU NOT RATHER JUST SWALLOW A PILL AND BE BETTER THAN STRUGGLING ALL YOUR LIFE? COMPLETEW NUMBNESS ISN’T GOOD EITHER BUT YOU CAN DISCUSS THIS WITH YOUR DOCTOR OF PSYCHIATRIST. YOU GOTTTA HAVE HOPE, YOU GOTTA BELIEVE THERE’S SOMETHING GREATER OUT THERE FOR YOU AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. THE LAW OF ATTRACTION IS REAL. SOME DOORS ONLY OPEN ONCE YOU’RE EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY READY TO RECEIVE THEM. DIETING AND THE RIGHT FOOD CAN LIFT UP YOUR MOOD. MANIFESTATION DOESN’T HURT BUT YOU ALSO GOT TO PUT IN WORK AND HAVE THE AUDICTIY TO BELIEVE YOU’RE THE BEST. YOU GOTTA REMAIN GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE BUT DON’T BE SCARED TO ASK THE UNIVERSE FOR MORE. I STILL HAD VERY SHORT-TERM DEPRESSIVE EPISODES THIS YEAR, LIKE 3 DAYS MAX, BUT THAT’S STILL A HUGE STEP FROM LOOKING BACK IN 2022. TALKING WITH A THERAPIST HELPS…AND AGAIN ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. DON’T BE ASHAMED TO GO TO A CLINIC. DON’T BE ASHAMED TO ASK FOR HELP. DEPRESSION IS A HURDLE ALSO YOU CAN OVERCOME.

-NKEM

How to deal with being alone.

TO TALK ABOUT BEING ALONE WE FIRST NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING ALONE AND FEELING LONELY. BEING HAPPY BEING ALONE COMES FROM A PERIOD OF LONELINESS THAT TRANSFORMS INTO UTTER DEDICATION TO CRAFT AND ACCEPTANCE OF SELF. BEING ABLE TO GO TO A RESTAURANT ALONE, BEING ABLE TO GO TO A MUSEUM ALONE, BEING ABLE TO GO TO A PARTY ALONE IS CRUCIAL FOR AN ARTIST. YOU NEED TO PREPARE FOR COMPLETE LONELINESS AS AN ARTIST BECAUSE NOONE WILL EVER TRULY UNDERSTAND YOU, AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT MARINA ABRAMOVIC SAYS. I BELIEVE IN THAT TO A CERTAIN EXTENT…YOU CAN STILL BE FRIENDLY WITH PEOPLE AND HAVE A CLOSE CIRCLE BUT YOU CAN’T BE EVERYONE’S FRIEND. THE MASSES ARE AFRAID OF WHAT THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND SO NATURALLY THEY WILL BE AFRAID OF YOU, YOUR INDEPENDENCE, YOUR RESILIANCE, YOUR EGO, YOUR TALENT. YOU’RE JUST TOO PRECIOUS TO BE NICE TO EVERYONE. I DON’T FEEL LONELY ANYMORE BECAUSE I ENJOY MY OWN COMPANY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSES. I TRULY AND UTTERLY LOVE MYSELF.

-NKEM